In today’s modern culture the answer to this question depends on how you choose to look at it. On a recent news article featuring The Duggar Family (no introduction needed I’m sure) I browsed through some of the comments posted by others who had read the article as well. The comment below got my attention and although I commented briefly in response, I wanted to take some time to look at this question a little more deeply.
Here’s the comment;
OMG WOW! God not going 2 persecute u for tying your tubes! Man I bet they can’t ever get privacy but y when they’ll just pop out another baby, this isn’t just a family its a football team and even though they get paid 4rm TLC it’s still a load of stress n this list proves it!
Here is my extended response;
1. OH WOW!!
Have you noticed the way that women with more than 4 children are treated in our culture today? My father was one of 18 children, and my mother is the oldest of ix . Just one generation later, families with more than four children are laughed at, mocked, looked down on as if they are the victims of very unfortunate circumstances, and publicly offered birth control advice to ‘help keep that from happening again’. It’s almost as if others are personally offended by the husband and wife who have chosen to ‘be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth’. Does anyone smell the presence of the horrible impact of feminism here? Where a woman used to grieve miserably and be ashamed of and made fun of if he could not have children (read the accounts of Sarah and Hannah in Scripture), now they grieve miserable and are ashamed if they have more than the culture says is socially acceptable.
2. God not going 2 persecute u for tying your tubes!
Well, he may not persecute you, but the consequences of your decision will judge you. Speaking as one who did ‘tie my tubes’ at the age of 28 years old, and who came to regret that permanent, unalterable decision not long after it was made, I have felt the consequences of my taking control, over my body for the past 11 years. You see, not only were Adam and Eve, and therefore all of humanity that followed, instructed to ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28), but we are told in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” Now I know that this particular passage is speaking about avoiding sexual sin, but the premise of v.19-20 hold true no matter what context we use it in. But do we believe it? This was a hard one for me to come to terms with. Do we believe that our bodies belong to God and not to us? Do we believe that He is truly sovereign and able to stop us from having children when he has brough ALL of the lives through our bodies that he intended to? I have prayed with women and read stories about women over the years who are crying out for God to open their womb. We believe He is capable of opening it, but do we believe He is also able to close it when He wills? Or is this a situation like so many others in our lives; we say that we are submitted to God in ALL things, but we really only mean the things that we agree with. Can I say the difficult things here? My heart aches for the millions of women currently heartbroken over their infertility, and the millions whose heart ache to hold the babies who were one alive within them but never saw their face. There are women who would give their lives to have just one baby…to feel life come alive inside of them, and then to nurture and protect and bring that life into the world. And then there are others, like me, who seemed to get pregnant if my Sweetie and I were in the same room together for too long! And I, like so many other women who did not have fertility issues, took it for granted! And I leaned to my own understanding, and the understanding of my unbelieving physician…and I decided when I was done having children…and I’ve regretted that decision ever since. I did not seek the Lord! I did not consult the counsel of His word! I followed the mandates of this fallen world that we live in and the cultural trends of the age. ‘God will not persecute you for tying your tubes’, but trust me ladies, the day will come, when the longings of an empty womb will convict you. We call it a ‘baby fix’! That time that occurs every so often when we long to hold and smell and cuddle with a brand new baby…when we long to just hold one in our arms…Do we ever stop to think that if we had made Christ Lord of ALL, instead of Lod of SOME, that longing wouldn’t be there. Michelle Duggar, and so many others are models of women who chose to let God be God over ALL aspects of their lives…including, not other than, how many children He desired for her to have…
3. Man I bet they can’t ever get privacy but y when they’ll just pop out another baby
Wow! Who knew that privacy in marriage was the most important thing??? Especially when you compare it with the non importance of bringing another life into this world. As irritated as I was by this comment, it helped bring home to me that most of our motives for NOT having more children are selfish ones, and show a lack of faith/trust in the Lord to provide for us and to meet our needs. I can still remember the words of many ‘older’ Christian women whenever we announced that we were expecting again; “Lord Jesus…how are you going to take care of another one? You guys are so young, and you don’t have any money. children are expensive…shoe don’t grow on trees!” And then, when I made the decision to ‘get my tubes tied’; “God grants wisdom! He won’t put more on you than what you can bear! Well, just be thankful for the ones you have!”…and my all time favorite;”Now, it’s your body! God gave you the power to choose what you do with it. If you don’t want anymore kids, God won’t be mad at you…He’s the one wo gave you a choice in the first place.” Now I sit here typing 11 years later and I DISAGREE!!! God gave me a choice like He gave Adam and Eve a choice, but He has ALWAYS wanted us to choose Him!!! To trust Him!!!! To obey Him!!! and to deny ourselves…
My 17-year-old daughter, Kayla, Posted the following comment on Facebook last week;
Thank you Mommy! You could have chosen to exercise “your right as a woman” & “choose” to not have me, but you didn’t. And I thank you so much for that!♥ Selena Horton White #smiling
This was my response to her;
What would my life be if I had chosen to end the live of my loves??? Nothing else was EVER an option!!! I’ll always choose to preserve you over me… I was designed to be a mother…that’s what we do ❤
4. …this isn’t just a family its a football team and even though they get paid 4rm TLC it’s still a load of stress n this list proves it!
This negative person felt that the Duggars were not a family, but a football team, and as such were a load of stress!!! Have you ever watched the show? Do Michelle and Jim Bob look like they are under an enormous amount of stress? Do their children? Or do they look like a family at peace with God and themselves and their choices??? Could our anguish be stemming from our exercising our ‘right’ to do whatever we want with our bodies, and somewhere deep down inside, knowing we made the wrong choice? Could it be because we chose, like Eve, to do exactly the opposite of what Go said for us to do? I think it could be.
When considering whether or not to use birth control/tie your tubes ask yourselves, “Do I believe God’s Word? Have I made Christ Lord over my ENTIRE life? Do I trust God to provide for my family if I have 2 or 20 children? Choose to fight through the mindsets we have adopted from the world, and tak on the mindset God intends for his children to have; one of obedience. The command to be fruitful still stands. Are ALL children a blessing?
Here’s my original brief answer;
It depends on how you choose to look at it. Psalm 127:3-5 says “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they shall not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gates.” The Duggars have chosen to receive ALL of the rewards the Lord has for them. God Bless them for it 😀 and God bless you!
This entry was posted in Encouragement, Feminism, Kids, Marriage and Family, Parenting, Wisdom, Women and tagged are children a blessing, family planning, God's Will, Godly marriage, Life, obeying god, the Duggars, Wisdom.