Withholding My Heart (I Love You But…)

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“I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. “1 TImothy 2:1-2  

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.  As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:21-24

As I prepare my heart to wind down the week of sharing my story with all of you, I wanted to shift focus a little early… These verses struck me this morning (like all of God’s word does :D) and I thought to myself (again) how much of God’s word we seem to compartmentalize, or ignore if we do not agree with it. There’s so much of it that we do read and that we choose to apply to every relationship we are engaged in except for our marital one.  With this in mind, take some time to sit quietly and look over the image below…ask yourself the questions that follow…and be very honest with your answers. I believe they will help you to see what’s really in your heart.

1. When you pray, do you pray for your husband?  Do you ask God to help him…do you intercede on his behalf, and give thanks for him. and for your marriage, not because you always want to but because God’s Word tells you to?

2. Do you view your husband as someone with God-given authority over you, as Ephesians 5 tells us, and do you pray for him as one who is in authority so that you can live a peaceful and quiet life marked by godliness and dignity? Or do you find yoursel withholding your prayers because you view yourself as one who has authority over him?

3.Think about the relationships you have with people who you work, exercise and attend church with.  Are you more respectful towards the men in these circles than you are towards your own husband? Why do you think that is?

4. Now, think of other men that you interact with on a regular/semi-regular basis. When you think of them in comparison to your husband, are your thoughts towards them more favorable? Does your husband pale in comparison to these other men?  Do they appear to be more….than he is?  Keeping in mind that you don’t live with them, what is it that you think they’ve done that deserves your admiration and appreciation more than your husband does?

5. Are there things that your husband has done, or hasn’t done, that you have not yet forgiven him for? How do you think that unforgiveness impacts the way you respond to him or what you think about him, or what you think about him in your heart?

6.  Have the tenderness and the displays of affection towards your husband diminished in their passion, intensity and frequency over the years? Why do you think that is?

7. Do you have emotional needs that you expect your husband to meet that he has not met?

8. Did you have an idea or a dream of what your marriage would be like and are disappointed at what it actually is?

9. Do you struggle submitting to your husband?

10. Do you struggle submitting to God?

Whew! Those questions have the potential to be life-changing if you let them. Take some time to look up the verses in the picture above, and when you pray, begin to read those verses as part of the time you spend with the Lord.   Romans 12:2 says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”  Did you hear that??? God can change you into a new person by CHANGING THE WAY YOU THINK!!!! Now, I know that some don’t think they have any problems and all of the issues in their marriage are their spouses fault, but God knows the truth. Then there are others of us who know that we are negatively impacting our marriages and desire to submit to God and allow Him to give us direction. He will do just that!! When he changes the way you think, you will be able to learn his will for you, and you will have no questions about what’s good, and pleasing and perfect 😀

Alright! I’m going to say goodnight and actually get some sleep.  When I get up, I am going to spend some time with the Lord in prayer, and looking up those verses in his Word.  I truly hope you join me! Let’s submit our hearts together, and finally experience a marriage BETTER than the ones we dreamed of!


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