How God Brought Us Together

Married August 6, 1994

Ukali and Selena PART 1

Ukali and I met when I was in high school.  My best friend was dating his brother and I tagged along with her on a few get togethers. Well, at one of these get together, which were usually at church, Ukali was home from school so he accompanied his brother, and we met for the first time. 😀 Well, needless to say I was very aware of how attractive he was, but it would be four years before we would connect. We interacted during that time but always from a distance. Flash forward to my sophomore year in college. After a particularly devastating break-up, God began to deal with my heart about His plan for my life vs. my plan.  (Isaiah 55:8) My plan was to graduate, attend law school, become partner by 30, judge by 40, and work somewhere in or near D.C. or even graduate to the U.S. Supreme Court by 60.  (Don’t laugh…I was dead serious…) And I do mean dead serious because my plans for my life were void of life. I had never consulted God about them, I had just lived as if He had to run His plans by me, as opposed to me submitting my plans to His will. I am sooo thankful as I remember His grace towards me… But during the winter of 1992-1993 God began to deal with my feminist heart, and very gently let me know (repeatedly) that I would not be returning to school the following year.  I resisted for months, even to the point of getting a job on campus because in my heart I knew that if I went home for the summer I would not return. The Holy Spirit had began to change my mind about the time period I had set for my life, and in that process I felt a desire to be married beginning to grow. While I always had dreams of being a wife and a mother, my plans had that part of my life a little closer to the almost halfway point. But during the Summer of 1993 I went home for ONE weekend. I had resisted every trip home and was actually resisting the Lord. I mean I was completely engaged in fighting His will, while still going to church and singing in the gospel choir on campus and reading my Bible and praying with/for people.  But When my best friend called to tell me she was getting married and asked me to be her maid of honor, I could not refuse…so I went home for the wedding…and I saw Ukali again…and he was the best man (literally he was the BEST man :D)…and I was the maid of honor!


The Best Man and Maid of Honor
The Best Man and Maid of Honor

We were stuck together at various activities for the time that I was home. He was such a gentlemen. He was a committed Christian (as if there is any other kind), and he was incredibly handsome…and I was completely undone!!! When we walked down the aisle for the wedding rehearsal the photographer asked us if we were together, to which we both replied “No”, and then he said, “Well, you guys make a great looking couple. Who knows, maybe I’ll be photographing your wedding one day”. And 13 months later, he did :D. I went back to school and submitted my will to the Lord’s gladly. I withdrew from school, and faced all of the opposition and questions and concerns that came my way bravely.  I had been given a rare glimpse of what my future could hold and I was not going to miss it.  I was going home gladly… it was smooth sailing from here, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought too…


3 thoughts on “How God Brought Us Together

    Carmen White said:
    January 11, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Well why don’t you just go ahead and preach, preacha! I remember those days like they were yesterday! It’s hard to believe you will be married 18 years in August. Thanks for riding the waves of marriage and motherhood to the point to where no matter what…you remained an example to the rest of us in the family. You know I know marriage is not easy. It is not for the faint of heart and in the words of the late Bishop James, “Marriage is not for whimps.” I have seen the Lord mold you and make you into the woman he wants you to be. You are many years away from that girl who had aspirations to climb the corporate ladder to the detriment of what God had for her life. I thank God for how He has knitted your heart to Him and your family. Your heart is soft, moldable and ready for the Master’s use. Can’t wait to see the work He will continue in you!


    Del Kroemer said:
    January 30, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story, it’s a wonderful testimony I wish more women had today. It’s hard and sometimes scary to give up our plans for God’s, but we’re so blessed when we do, even when others don’t understand.


      joyfullysubmitted responded:
      January 30, 2013 at 3:02 pm

      Del, that was a long time ago…and it took me a long time to be reconciled in my heart to Christ LITERALLY being Lord of ALL… I do not look back with a single regret, other than that it took me so long to submit…truly submit to the Lord and to my lord… God is faithful!


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