discipleship

“We all know who wears the pants in this family!”

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Early in our marriage I had an eye-opening, heart changing experience that I want to share with you. We had guests over for dinner, and although I can’t remember the details of our conversation, there is one part of it that I will never forget.  That would be when the young man in response to something said, replied, “That’s OK, because we all know who wears the pants in this family.”  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  And my heart dropped, because I knew immediately that he was not talking about my husband! I desperately searched to discover what had I done…what was I doing… that would cause other men to look at my husband as less than a man of honor? Now, I understand that we live in a day and time where to hear that said is a compliment to some women… but I wasn’t one of them.  Those words sliced right through me!!!! They cut through my strong personality, quick-witted, take charge exterior…and they broke my heart! What was so bad about those words?  Why would they cause me so much distress? Very simply, I was devastated to hear those words, not just because of wat they said about me, but because of what they depicted about him…my love…my sweetie…

As terrible as it was to hear that, it was one of the best things that could have happened (Isn’t God amazing?!?!?! He knows EVERYTHING!)  Those words, spoken very casually as if that was normal and acceptable, were the beginning of an end for me.  Let me explain…

While most women don’t view being perceived as a non-submissive wife to be a bad ting, I believe that would change drastically if we looked at the word very intently…which I did…and I DID NOT like what I saw at all. Let’s take a journey through a brief word study, shall we? The words below are all words that can be accurately used to describe a wife or a woman who submits to Gods authority (for the single woman), and the authority of her husband.

 The  definition of Submission;

to submit –  the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person

• archaic humility;

meekness:

Synonyms

submission to authority

yielding (relinquish, bequeath, give up te struggle)

Bequeath (pass down or on to, entrust to)

capitulation

acceptance

consent

compliance

surrender

resignation

docility (Latin dociles, from docere meaning to ‘teach’, apt or willing to learn)

deference

subservience

servility

give in/way

back down

abide by

conform to

ANTONYMS

defiance.

resistance.

Now, these are not words that we are particularly fond of.  Their imagery is one of weakness, and who wants to be viewed as weak? But as much as we may not like these words, I have a feeling we will be dismayed at the next list.  While the words above are all used to define or explain submission,  the next group of words is used to define a lack of submission. We will focus on just a couple of words from above (the ones in bold) looking at antonyms 😀

to submit; yielding (relinquish, bequeath, give up te struggle), Bequeath (pass down or on to, entrust to), 

docility (Latin dociles, from docere meaning to ‘teach’, apt or willing to learn)

 The following words can accurately be used to describe a woman/a wife who refuses/resists submitting to God and her husband;

recalcitrant

uncooperative

intractactable

obstreperous

truculent

insubordinate

defiant

rebellious

willful

wayward

headstrong

self-willed

contrary

perverse

difficult

unruly

unmanageable

disorderly

undisciplined

uncontrollable

rowdy

disruptive

mutinous

riotous

out of control

turbulent

Whoa!!! That’s a lot of strong, descriptive words!!! Now lets pick a couple from both lists and compare.

A woman who submits to her husband’s authority as instructed to by God’s Word (1 Peter 3:1-2) is viewed as meek (quiet and gentle), compliant, docile (apt or willing to learn), and subservient. On the contrary, a woman who refuses to, or is resistant to the very idea of submitting, she is unfavorably viewed as recalcitrant, uncooperative, intractable, obstreperous, truculent, insubordinate, defiant, rebellious, willful, wayward, headstrong, self-willed, contrary, perverse, difficult. Now, you tell me what Christ loving woman wants to be seen as any of the above words?

So, when my heart should have been set on honoring God, and my husband and demonstrating a willingness to submit to both, my heart had actually been trained to pose as a good wife but silently resist and defy authority.  While my husband thought he was marrying a gentle, quiet young woman, and a wife who was willing to learn, he had actually married a woman who was unruly, unmanageable, disorderly, undisciplined, uncontrollable, rowdy, disruptive, mutinous, riotous, out of control, turbulent….and she didn’t even know it! But other people could see it, which was why that heart slicing observational comment was made about me wearing the pants in the family…

Praise god my story doesn’t end there!!!! And neither does yours!!! While there is no honor for an unruly woman, God’s word says there is praise and honor for the virtuous one!  Do not fear…The God we serve is faithful!

“And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them.I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart so they will obey my decrees and regulations. Then they will truly be my people, and I will be their God.” Ezekiel 11:18-20 

Did you get that? When we choose to truly turn our hearts back to God He will;

1. give us singleness of heart

2. put a new spirit within us

3. take away our stony, stubborn heart

4. give us a tender, responsive heart

Why will He do this!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

SO THAT WE CAN SUBMIT TO (OBEY) HIS DECREES AND REGULATIONS

Ladies, I have seen God first hand do exactly what he said he would do in me…and if you are feeling trapped in this horrible cycle than I want to encourage you that he can do the same thing for you.  Don’t forget, I am sharing my story this week, but your turn is coming.  I want to hear from you.  Has your heart been changed? Let us know and take advantage of an opportunity to encourage others with your story!  Join us tomorrow for the next video blog! Have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow

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The Name-Game:Is a woman who hyphenates her last name not submitting to her husband?

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THE QUESTION:

Is a woman who hyphenates her last name (keeping both her maiden and married name) not submitting fully to her husband? 

This is a question I saw recently on Facebook, as well as the comment I posted in response.  I wanted to share this with all of you in hopes of getting your feedback.The question itself was genuine, and not meant in a negative way.  A new bride was sincerely asking for the opinions of those she knows.  The slew of comments that followed were, in some cases, heartbreaking.  They lead me to do a little research into the ‘new’ movement where husbands are taking on the last names of their wives as opposed to the wives taking on the last name of her husband. Read both the question and the comment I posted in response… Out of the 26 responses to this question, mine was completely ignored by all except the writer of the original question… So, what are your thoughts, and what Bible verses/principles/cultural depictions of the people of God do you use to support your view?

“I have not read the other comments…so no offense intended if there is any…when we choose to BECOME ONE with a man, we are doing just that…becoming ONE…in order for that to work we both    must die to our own selfish ambition and become a different person…a blending of the two…part of that for Eve is the taking on of her husband’s name and what that represents (wo+man=woman)… what it communicates to the world around us. It communicates that we are women who are under authority and consider it a blessing to be covered in life by first, the Lord, then by our earthly fathers whose name we bear until our marriage, and again that covering and protection and provision is passed to our husbands, and is signified by the taking of their name. (1Peter 3, Ephesians 5) It is a sign of honor and respect as well as encouragement and edification to our husbands. It demonstrates love and trust. That said, it is anti-feminist and is another aspect of marriage where we (Christian women) tend to take on the mindset of the world and follow their cultural trends rather than the culture designed by the Word. But it’s minor..no big deal…just a hyphen…but the communicates the opposite of what our marriages as believers are supposed to communicate to the world we live in. It doesn’t communicate unity or oneness or sacrifice, it communicates division, and a reluctance to really take on our husbands name and hang on to our own is communicating that Eve is still alive and well. We (women) are the greatest influencers in the lives of our husbands and our children, and everything we do will either communicate our obedience and submission to God, or our rebellion and disobedience to Him.  So does God’s word explicitly tell us not o use a in our names when married? No, but it does tell us to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. Have we taken on Christ’s name? Do we hyphenate it so that we can maintain our independence/identity with our old sinful nature and our new nature? Do we even think about these ‘minor’ issues in light of our marriage relationships mirroring our relationship with Christ? And if we still can’t come to an understanding, it’s always a great ides to ask our husbands how it would make them feel, really, and what it communicates about our hearts for them.  Some women hold on to their last name because they have children prior to marriage or from a previous marriage and don’t want their kids to not have the shared identity of their last name…. I understand these cases as well, but we have to understand that the relationship between a man and his wife is the ONLY relationship on earth that is called to represent the relationship that Christ has with his bride…it is to supercede all others…

This is the post. What feedback do you have? Agree. Disagree. I would really like to know 😀 And what about men taking on the last name of their wives???? Have you even heard of that? I truly look forward to hearing from you!

Submission! I Do….but I Don’t!!!

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I was extremely blessed to have spent Friday afternoon with two beautiful young wives.  Their love for God and desire to live lives that are pleasing to Him were apparent in the sheer amount of energy it took to focus while nursing babies and changing diapers and quieting little ones.  I smiled to myself as I remembered the early years of my marriage when my children were babies…and small…and loud…and unconcerned with the needs of anyone else on the planet…and my husband was working…and I was fighting valiantly to love God and obey His Word…and I was earnestly trying to learn how and what it meant to love my husband and my children.  During those years I really could have used an older woman or two whose joy it was to walk alongside younger women after the model given to us in Titus 2.

I have been searching my heart in an effort to find my voice on this blog, and I have written about various things.  But the thing that causes my heart to ache is the same thing that caused me to begin this blogging journey, and it’s the same thing that compels me to write today; My heart aches for the women today who are like I was when I got married. I truly desired to honor God and my husband, but I HAD NO IDEA how to do that.  I remember when Ukali and I went to a relative, who is a pastor at a local church, for some premarital advice before the actual ‘I Do’s’, and the relative made the comment that he felt we were very compatible and only foresaw on potential issue.  I braced myself and was prepared for him to say anything other than what he said.  His observed potential issue was…Yep! You guessed it…ME!!!!!…. and the likelihood of me experiencing difficulty and resistance to submitting to my husband’s God-given authority.  Well, needless to say, I was a little more than moderately offended…and afraid that he was right! And guess what? He was!!!!

But guess what else? My story doesn’t end there, and hopefully, neither does yours.  Let’s tell our stories together. During the month of October we will be looking closely at the word SUBMISSION. I will be speaking directly to questions/concerns you have in regards to the Biblical model of submission in marriage.  Take a few minutes and message me your questions, concerns, struggles and victories in this area.  We would love to hear from you.  Submission of questions/comments can begin immediately!! JOIN THE CONVERSATION 😀

Practical ways to put Submission into practice from the Book of James 1-2

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“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes;fear the Lord and shun evil.” Proverbs 3:5-7

This, again, is a passage of scripture that we don’t typically hear used in the context of our marriages, but it is SUPER applicable.  I see a lot of marriages where we appear to trust God with everything BUT our relationship with our husbands.  We apply worldly thinking and secular methods of conflict resolution to what is a holy, sanctified (set apart exclusively for Gods use) union.  I hear a lot of, “I trust the Lord, but……”. That little word, but, cancels out that huge word, trust. And it communicates more than we think it does, the absence of genuine faith in this area. I want to share with you several passages of scripture that I truly believe will enhance your marriage if applied… My wonderful husband always tells me, whenever I am discussing these issues of submission and there is tension in the conversation, that God’s Word can explain and hold our hearts accountable better than I can.  “Just stick to Scripture, Sweetie”, he says. “If their hearts won’t submit to His Word or His command, they are probably not one of His daughters.”  In my heart of hearts I pray that you are truly a daughter of the Most High God, and that as one of his girls, your heart is set on honoring and obeying Him by submitting to His Holy Word, and bringing your heart and life completely under His authority…especially in the are of submitting to, honoring, and demonstrating respect for your husband… These verses are in no way exhaustive, but they are a good start…and they are wonderful to have hidden in your arsenal so that when the enemy of flesh rises up, you can put him to death!

When facing financial struggles:

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” James 1:2-4

When facing temptation:

“And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.” JAmes 1:13-15

When struggling to close our mouths and just listen to our husbands…especially when we are angry:

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” James 1:19-20

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“If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” James 1:26

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When struggling with obeying all of Gods Word and not just the parts that we like or agree with:

“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” James 1:22-25

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When we find ourselves esteeming other men as better than our own husband because they have a ‘better’ job, drive a ‘better’ car, their family lives in a ‘better’ neighborhood….:

“My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?” James 2:2-4

When we are dissatisfied with how the Lord has provided for our needs through our husbands and we just think we could live a better life if he made more money:

Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him?. James 2:5

When we say that we are believing God to rescue us from the consequences of our disrespectful attitude and dishonoring acts towards our husbands, but it just isn’t happening…he’s stil angry, and hurt and withdrawn, but we’ve apologized and he should be able to move past it…:

What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God.Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless? Don’t you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God. So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone. Rahab the prostitute is another example. She was shown to be right with God by her actions when she hid those messengers and sent them safely away by a different road. Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” James 2:14-26

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I am going to refrain from expounding on these verses and just let them speak for themselves.  I just want to say that if our hearts are truly set on submitting to God in ALL areas, there’s no better roadmap than His unfailing word! READ THE BIBLE LADIES!!!!! LOVE GOD AND HIS STATUTES!!!!! LIVE OUT/OBEY WHAT IT SAYS!!!! In all areas!!!! We can’t continue to sit in church on Sunday,saying ‘Amen’, but hating our husbands in our hearts and with our actions….We’ve got to choose. decide, RESOLVE to be better…to just submit!!! Just quit fighting! Trust God or we suffer and we cause the generational suffering of so many… I will leave you with this video from John Piper.  Have a GREAT weekend, know that you are loved, now go and LOVE YOUR HUSBAND!!

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd3AmKexugM

One Day…

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This is granddad and grandmother… Ukali’s grandparents….They both went home to be with the Lord in the past year and a half. We saw 1st hand how/what our modern society thinks of the elderly in how they were cared for…

~~~~~~~~~~~

As I think about the kind of people

That we want our children to grow and become

I am dismayed by the state of the world

The lack of compassion for the elderly demonstrated by some

~~~~~~~~~~~

More than having diapers changed, and midnight feedings,

More than being bathed, dressed and nursing at my breast,

More than homework, laundry, having their tears dried.

More than…the list is too long to compress

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What happens when OUR hair turns gray?

What happens when it’s OUR shaky hands they have to hold?

What happens when OUR vision fades?

What happens when those who served the young grow old?

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One day they will be the ones taking care of you.

One day they will be in charge of getting you dressed and tying your shoes.

One day they will wash behind your ears.

One day they will provide your care, in just a few years….

~~~~~~~~~~~

As I think about the kind of people 

We want our children to grow up and become 

I am dismayed by the state of the world

The lack of compassion  for the elderly demonstrated by some…

As a woman thinks in her heart…

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“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:7-9

This post is inspired by  a recent post from a ‘friend’ on Facebook.   After the first post, I was struck by  the number of posts that began this way by many women who are considered to be believers, but who display a lack of focus on God, and an overwhelming absorption with the things of the world.  It’s troubling to see so many people consumed with negative events, negative thoughts, and negative people, who, after all of this negative consumption have no apparent idea why they are so miserable.   Life is FULL of things/events that have the capacity to impact us in whatever way we choose to let them.  The most heartbreaking thing was that a lot of these posts had to do with negative comments about men, whether a boyfriend, a husband or an ex… After reading the multiple status updates, I thought it might just be a good idea for us to take a look at some of the negative/positive ways we can choose to let LIFE impact our marriages and our thoughts about our husbands.

First, let’s establish the premise that every day begins as a good day. We wake up, we are alive, we breathe, we move, we see a day that we have never seen before. EVERY day is a brand new start, a FREE do-over. With each new day, each new breath, we are reminded of the great Love that the Lord has for us.

“It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”

Lamentations 3:22-23

Tell me, what events or issues are so powerful that they can take your mind off of the new mercy received just by waking up in the morning?  How would you finish the above statement?  What or who have you given power over your mood?

I was having a good day until…what? Who?

Let’s look at a few examples I’ve seen/heard recently from wives;

I was having a good day until/I was fine until/I was perfectly fine until/…..

he ignored me…

he did what I specifically told him not to do…

he didn’t do what I specifically told him to do…

he wouldn’t admit that I was right and he was wrong…

he walked into the room…

he came to bed before I had a chance to fall asleep…

he forgot …

These thoughts usually progress into or are followed by:

he’s so…

he’s not…

I wish he were more like…

why can’t he be more…

why can’t he do more…

why isn’t he …

oh, what’s the use…

just forget it…

By choosing to focus on or to only look at the negative things our husbands are doing, or the positive things they are not doing, we are actually choosing to give those thoughts control over our mood/attitude, and those thoughts will dictate how we interact with and respond to our husbands. If we are having a good day until one of these thoughts about our husbands comes across our minds, and it’s downhill from there, we need to accept the fact that our husbands lack of’ ‘whatever’,  or their inadequacies are not the problem; our thoughts toward them are. It’s not what they are/are not doing that stresses us out and makes us want to scream, throw things at their heads, run out of the room screaming and pulling our hair out, ‘share’ everything that’s wrong with them with anyone who will listen…cry ourselves to sleep at night, or just give up.  It’s not them or the things they do, but it’s us and how we choose to let it impact us and the response we choose to give.  Have we tried to apply Phillipians 4:7-9 to this area of our marriages? Let’s take a look at what it says, and the actual application.

“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

What does it mean to fix your thoughts? Take the words below and substitute ALL of them for the word FIX and read the beginning of this verse again.

fasten, attach, affix, secure,  join, connect, couple, link, install, implant, embed, stick, glue, pin, nail, screw, bolt, clamp, clip, lodge, burned,branded. focus, direct, level, point, train your thoughts on what is…horrible about your husband or lacking, or weak in appearance or void of honor or undeserving of respect? NO!!

fasten, attach, affix, secure,  join, connect, couple, link, install, implant, embed, stick, glue, pin, nail, screw, bolt, clamp, clip, lodge, burned,branded. focus, direct, level, point, train your thoughts on what IS true about your husband…what IS honorable about your husband…what IS right about him…what IS lovely about him…what IS worthy of admiration…what IS excellent and worthy of praise!!  GLUE them there!!! Embed your thoughts about him right ther!!! Pin them! Nail them! Screw and bolt them down in this place!!! Brand them…TRAIN (aim, point, direct, level, focus; zero in) them…

Is everything about him true? Nope! Is everything about him honorable? Maybe not! Is everything about him right? Not Likely! Is everything about him lovely and worthy of admiration? Is everything excellent and worthy of praise??? Is an answer really needed? But Scripture does NOT tell us to think on the things that are NOT these characteristics or attributes…it tells us to think on those things that are!!!!

Ladies, do we realize how important what we choose to think about or focus on is to the success of our marriage?  Do we realize that our refusal to apply Philippians 4 to the MOST IMPORTANT relationship in our lives has devastating, catastrophic impact on our ability to be the helper that our husbands need and deserve?  Do we understand that our stubborn grip on all of his imperfections and shortcomings, coupled with a choice to blame him for our thoughts and take no responsibility for them ourselves, literally paralyzes our marriages and freezes our interactions until we become roommates…just two people who share the bills and responsibility, but have forsaken the joy and love and peace and comfort that was ours by right….Do we realize that by choosing to focus on what/who they are not, we are choosing to ignore what/who they are, and even more importantly , what/who they could become with our love, support and help????

How are you choosing to think about or look at your husband? Does he impact your mood negatively?  Does the sight of him just ruin your day?  Are you fine until he comes around? Do you still see him as the man you loved and chose to spend the rest of your life with? Or has the world and all of its poisonous fruit tainted your vision so that he just looks…ordinary and no longer good enough for you?  Do you withhold affection, intimacy…love…sex…just the pleasure of your smile? I challenge you to begin to look at him through eyes controlled by thoughts that are submitted to the Holy Spirit. Fix your thoughts! Train your mind to think thoughts that are honorable, right, lovely, worthy of admiration, excellent and worthy of praise.  And see how your attitude towards him changes!  Then see how the change in your attitude and thoughts help him to change.  Witness the softening of hearts tht follows the renewing of minds, and the revival of life and love in your marriage.  It really does begin with our thoughts…

I will end with a comment I posted in response to a post on Peacefulwife.com.  I hope this helps bring all of this together and shows how important our thoughts towards our husbands really are…

….. Let me first of all PRAISE GOD with you for what the Lord has already done in your heart. Our God is sooooo amazing, and He loves us sooooo much that He put a plan in place before the foundations of the world to save us from ourselves!!!!! How absolutely wonderful is that??!?!?!? As I think about the words you shared, let me just tell you that God is pleased at your desire to submit to not only Him and His will, but also to your husband’s authority. I too was raised in a family that was overrun with a ‘jezebel spirit’. And it is more than a small challenge to break free from that heart/mindset. This is a journey that will require the involvement of your whole heart…”And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart, so they will obey my decrees and regulations. Then they will truly be my people, and I will be their God.” Ezekiel 11:19-20 The ravages of the feminist agenda and the existing feminist culture is that it teaches/trains/disciples us to hold on to that old stony, stubborn heart, and resist Gods loving efforts to give us a tender responsive heart in its place. It’s the tender responsive heart that is now finally able to obey his decrees and regulations…one of which is “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.” 1 Peter 3:1-2… Eternally Grateful, I humbly encourage you to continue to allow the Lord to work in your heart…this is SUCH a painful process…and it is SUCH a GLORIOUS one!!! As the Lord continues His work in your heart (you know, that open heart surgery you’ve been going through without the aid of anesthesia so that you feel EVERYTHING to the extent that the things you were brought to your knees over you NEVER want to go back to them again)…as He continues to work on your heart You will find that part of the reason you struggle seeing God in your husband is because your husband can’t see God in himself…you are his mirror…Eve was supposed to be Adams helper…his reminder of all the love God held in his heart towards him…but she lead her husbands heat away from the Lord and now not only did he lose sight of who he was, but she did too…You are his reminder…begin to pray for God to give you his eyes, and when He shows you your husband as he was created to be, and you begin to look at him through Gods eyes, he will begin to look back at you with wonder, and his heart will soften, and his heart will begin to desire to become the man he sees in your eyes…It is NOT easy, and it DOES NOT happen overnight, you have been trained well throughout your life, and the tentacles of feminism run deep…even after things are “better’ you will find undiscovered residue that reappears when you least expect it…but God is faithful to do what He promised!!! (“Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.”) Don’t focus on his mistakes…on where he’s falling short…of what his life in Christ should look like… Keep your eyes fixed on Christ and the beautiful woman he is molding you into…Pray for your husband, pray for your sons, and watch God respond to your faith and trust in Him and Him alone. We are PRAYING for you…PLEASE keep in touch..This is a journey towards joy that we are on together ❤

“Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”