Godly marriage
Ladies, IT’S A FIGHT!!!
This, of course, is the final repost of 2012. I wanted to take us into 2013 with this mindset; IT”S A FIIIIIGHTTTTTT TO LIVE GODLY!! Submission is involved in EVERY aspect of Godly living…Do we want to live lives that honor God?? Very simply…Submit.
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“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” 2Corinthians 5:3-5
I spoke to a friend this evening, and as we spent time encouraging one another we both confessed that, even though we are submitting on the outside, it is more difficult at times to submit and honor on the inside…in our thoughts. I just wanted to share before turning in that, in case you didn’t know it, if we are fighting our flesh and the world system in the area of submission to God, and submission to our husbands, we are involved in the fight of our lives ladies!!! This is not for the faint at heart or those easily weakened in the knees!! It’s not for those who think they want to make a commitment, or think submission is the next movement and just want to be included!! It will take resolve and consistency and commitment and stamina!!! This is not a sprint, but a glorious marathon, where we get to die a little more each day to the old us,(and a lot on some days) that was shaped and chiseled and hardened by sin, and come alive to the new us, made soft and pliable in Christ’s likeness again. What does the above verse say?? “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh!!!!!!! (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds).” Strongholds must be pulled down!!! Our thought life must change!!!
“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:3-11
If you are fighting this battle in the arena of your thought life, take courage!!! You are not alone! I want to share a couple of things to help you on the battlefield…and remember, we are sisters in this. If the enemy seems to be one up on you,
1. Close your mouth (Ecclesiastes 10:14, Proverbs 29:11, 12:23, 14:33, 17:28)
2. Pray (Psalm 141:2, 143:1, Proverbs 15:8, 15:29)
3. CHOOSE not to be selfish
4. Be HUMBLE
5. THINK OF OTHERS as better than yourself
6.DON’T LOOK OUT FOR YOUR ON INTERESTS
7. Take a GENUINE interest in your husbands life/issues/concerns
8. Have the SAME ATTITUDE AS CHRIST
9. Begin to MEMORIZE and RECITE Gods Word
9. TAG us on the Facebook page and just shout PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! And we will know what to do 😀
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I was a terrible wife! Really, I was…
It breaks my heart to think that during the earlier years of my marriage my husband may have felt like this at times. While I don’t like to look back and think of myself as particularly ‘quarrelsome’, I was definitely a handful…and a mouthful…a ‘pistol’ if you will…at times. While I have a great memory for details, I don’t always want to remember the details of things I’ve done or said that were not pleasant, or that did not paint me in a good light. And my demeanor or attitude during those early years are definitely best forgotten if I want to view myself as the perpetual good, husband respecting and God honoring wife. But my memory works well in all areas! And that means that I remember myself in the light of truth. While my husband is not perfect, he has been consistent in his display of patience and kindness towards me, at times doing so in the face of my anger and rage. I was young…and headstrong…and feminist…and foolish…and today and everyday I thank God that I am forgiven. While I was not an absolutely horrid wife, meaning I did laundry and cleaned and cooked and made the beds and …etc, I was not forgiving, or patient, or gentle, or kind if things did not go my way! I was a brat!!!! And he loved me….and he waited for me to grow up…and he grew up with me! 😀 And he understood, as I came to understand, that my heart had not truly submitted to God and His will for my life, and that I was taking that out on him. My desire, since I committed my life to Christ at the age of 16, has always been to live a life that was pleasing to the Lord. My fear since that time, has always been that I will fail. I have struggled for 23 years to become the woman He created me to be, even if I did not agree with Him. That’s why it was a struggle. Because I did not agree! And while I loved my husband from the beginning, at least based on the way that my 21-year-old mind perceived love, I had other plans for my life…and they were interrupted…and I was angry… But I didn’t really notice for a long time that I was taking it out on him. Now, I know the title of this post is “I was a Terrible wife”, and I was quite often, but my heart was to be a godly one….and it still is. But this was not natural for me. Again, I had the physical skills, but I’ve had to learn to develop the heart…and before I could develop a true heart for my husband, I had to develop a true heart for God, and a willingness to accept His will for my life.
I was a closet, unconfessed, unacknowledged feminist, and my feminist heart was at war with a desire to serve God within those standards. I wanted to love, honor, and respect my husband, but had unknowingly embraced the culture that taught that men were weak and not worthy of respect. I wanted to genuinely appreciate him and his endeavors to provide for our growing family, but I had subconsciously bought into the false teaching that, as a woman, I was complete all by myself, and did not need a man to do anything for me. I said I loved him, but I treated him with disdain at times, and my far-reaching vocabulary was used to do what my hands could not. I looked good on the outside, but inside was the heart of a woman who had no idea how to become anything other than what I was. While my wonderful husband insists that I was not that bad, I can’t give myself a break on this. I do not want to paint a picture of myself with an ethereal glow around the fringes and a halo above my head, and I don’t want you to do that either. Self-evaluation is a wonderful thing. And if we are believers, it is a necessary thing:
Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves.
Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you ; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.
2 Corinthians 13:5
Knowing that our marital relationships are to mirror the relationship Christ has with his church, how much more does this apply to our marriages than just to our Christian conduct in our church circles? The result of an ultimate decision to truly cultivate the heart of a godly wife, I am no longer a feminist who wears the mask of a Christian wife and mother. I genuinely love, honor and respect my husband, and I do it joyfully. When talking to young wives caught in a similar struggle to the one I’ve described, I tell them that in this case, the grass really is greener on this side!!! I would not go back to the me I was before I truly submitted to Christ for ‘all the tea in China!” 😀 There is more than freedom, there is abundant life found in loving and being loved the way God designed…and there is genuine joy. The things I viewed as drudgery before are now looked at with an appreciation. While this post may not hit the bullseye for everyone, I have full confidence that there are some who will read this today or somewhere down the road, and it will meet you where you are. I have been blessed with an amazing man to spend the rest of my life with. He has worked hard for the past 18 years to provide for us, and to make it possible for me to be at home training and educating our children. When he comes home from work, I take joy (even when I’m tired) in serving him. I take joy in making sure he has clean underwear and socks …and it breaks my heart when I am behind on any laundry but especially his laundry. I love cooking for our family and preparing his plate for dinner (we actually compete on this one :D), and bringing it to him as he sits and unwinds while talking to the kids. But guess what? He looks for ways to serve me as well…and we do it joyfully!!!!! We didn’t start out this way. We were two selfish kids having kids when we got married (I truly believe I was far worse). But God is faithful, and He met our desire to have a marriage that honored Him by empowering us to deny ourselves and pursue righteousness. The Lord also knew that I was desperate not to pass these perspectives to my daughters. The end result, is that we love God more than we do each other. Our primary goal is to please the Lord in everything we do and say, and that begins with how we love and treat each other. Do we have bad days? Yes! Are there times we just want to scream?? Absolutely! But we’ve learned to be gracious, and compassionate and kind……and very, very, VERY forgiving!
Were you born in the wake of the feminist movement AND post Roe v. Wade like I am? Did you find it difficult to get rid of the ideologies and mindsets once you came to Christ or were married? Have you struggled in some of the same areas I described here? Well, of course, by now you know you’re not alone. Feel free to leave a comment and let me know some parts of your personal journey. The Conversation of the Month is SUBMISSION and we’ll be here everyday 😀 Let’s continue to encourage one another! 😀
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Submission: A Perspective on God’s Love For Us
“And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.”
Ephesians 5:21-30
How many of us have ever actually thought of our husbands as THE greatest gift, outside of salvation, that the Lord in his providence saw fit to bless us with? I am sure that a lot of us don’t think of them that way, because if we did,we would treat them better than we do. Look at the way we treat gifts that we place a high value on; we package them with bubble wrap, or foam to ensure that they don’t get broken, or we put them away in a protected place where our children and any other potentially harmful elements can’t get a hold of them. When they get dirty or dusty we don’t display them to the world in that state, but we polish or wash them clean before we put them on display…and if they are injured, broken in a place, or cracked, we turn that part away from the gaze of any onlookers, so that in the eyes of others their value will not be diminished. We love and take care of our gifts, and we want everyone to know what our thoughts are about them…who gave them to us…how much they cost…and how heartbroken we would be if something happened to them. We communicate all of this, sometimes, without saying a word. But what do our lives and attitudes…and even our words, communicate about the gift…the prize that God gave us to demonstrate to us how much he loved us? It breaks my heart when I hear women destroying their husbands, their gift, with their words. It breaks my heart when I see women treat their husbands coldly or indifferently, because he had the audacity not to follow one of her commands, or to do things other than the way she suggested. It breaks my heart to see the pain and humiliation in a mans eyes, masked by a laugh or a smile, after his wife has shared a story that communicates how vast his baffoon skills have become. It breaks my heart to see the look on a mans face when he has been cut off at the knees, in front of family, his children, or in the company of friends, by the words of the woman chosen by him to be his helper. It breaks my heart when I see how the relationship changes when Adam realizes that his helper has helped to cause him more pain and despair than he ever imagined possible… even to the point of negatively impacting his relationship with his father…Does it break your heart????
And I know ladies…I know…He’s NOT perfect! And he doesn’t treat me the way I should be treated…and he can’t keep a job…and he’s angry all of the time…and he doesn’t spend any time with me…and when he comes home all he ever wants to do is watch sports or hang out with his friends…and I don’t know if I still even love him…or like him… And I think I would have been better off if I had married _________________! And the list goes on!! But guess what? We’re NOT perfect! And we don’t treat him the way he should be treated…and we may not be able to keep a job…and we may be angry all the time…and we may not spend any time with him…and when we are home all we ever want to do is watch our shows, talk to our friends, stay on the computer (facebook)…and they may not know if they still loves us…or likes us…and they may think that they would have been better off married to ____________! ….
That last one hit a nerve I am sure, because we allow ourselves the freedom to think whatever we want to think, but are ready to do a “drive by” if we even think that they are thinking the same things!!! But let’s take a minute and think about something; What if the only way for our marriages to change is for us to change? What if the only way our husbands hearts towards us will change is for us to change our hearts towards them? And what if the only way for us to change our hearts towards our husbands is for us to change our hearts towards God! And what if the only way for us to change our perspective on God was to open the Book he left on record for us and read the Word of God as opposed to listening to the world and what it say about our marriage?
Genesis chapter 1 tells us that God spoke EVERYTHING into existence except man. For with Adam God took his time and made (to construct, build, assemble, put together, manufacture, produce, create, form, fashion, model) him! And then from the rib of man he made woman!!! Did you get that??? He spoke EVERYTHING ELSE INTO EXISTENCE but he MADE US WITH HIS VERY OWN HANDS!!!! And then he gifted us to eachother!!! Adam was God’s greatest creation and made to have genuine fellowship…relationship with the God of the Universe!!! And Eve…. Eve was woman…also hancrafted by God…but made differently than man, because part of her man was used to help make her!!!! She would be unmade without him!!! And ladies, so would we today! Think of it this way; Eve was the FIRST and BEST gift Adam was ever given…given specifically to HELP him live out the lives God had commanded him to live by walking beside him and learning with him, and looking at him with the same wonder that she saw when he looked at her. We are designed to look ‘up’ to him in honor and respect…to be the reminders always of the man God created…HANDCRAFTED them to be!!!!!! And he is commanded to be the vessel that God would always be able to love us through…. But something went wrong… and the place we just talked about is the place we are constantly fighting to get back to… Adam is raging for battling with Eve because when he looks at her, he no longer sees the respect due him simply by being handcrafted in the image of God. And Eve is crying out in the way she walks, and talks, and dresses…and controls and demands…for Adam to notice…to attend to…to love her the way her creator promised she would always be…. But our starting points are wrong…our perspectives have been skewed by the Fall….
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The Name-Game:Is a woman who hyphenates her last name not submitting to her husband?
THE QUESTION:
Is a woman who hyphenates her last name (keeping both her maiden and married name) not submitting fully to her husband?
This is a question I saw recently on Facebook, as well as the comment I posted in response. I wanted to share this with all of you in hopes of getting your feedback.The question itself was genuine, and not meant in a negative way. A new bride was sincerely asking for the opinions of those she knows. The slew of comments that followed were, in some cases, heartbreaking. They lead me to do a little research into the ‘new’ movement where husbands are taking on the last names of their wives as opposed to the wives taking on the last name of her husband. Read both the question and the comment I posted in response… Out of the 26 responses to this question, mine was completely ignored by all except the writer of the original question… So, what are your thoughts, and what Bible verses/principles/cultural depictions of the people of God do you use to support your view?
“I have not read the other comments…so no offense intended if there is any…when we choose to BECOME ONE with a man, we are doing just that…becoming ONE…in order for that to work we both must die to our own selfish ambition and become a different person…a blending of the two…part of that for Eve is the taking on of her husband’s name and what that represents (wo+man=woman)… what it communicates to the world around us. It communicates that we are women who are under authority and consider it a blessing to be covered in life by first, the Lord, then by our earthly fathers whose name we bear until our marriage, and again that covering and protection and provision is passed to our husbands, and is signified by the taking of their name. (1Peter 3, Ephesians 5) It is a sign of honor and respect as well as encouragement and edification to our husbands. It demonstrates love and trust. That said, it is anti-feminist and is another aspect of marriage where we (Christian women) tend to take on the mindset of the world and follow their cultural trends rather than the culture designed by the Word. But it’s minor..no big deal…just a hyphen…but the – communicates the opposite of what our marriages as believers are supposed to communicate to the world we live in. It doesn’t communicate unity or oneness or sacrifice, it communicates division, and a reluctance to really take on our husbands name and hang on to our own is communicating that Eve is still alive and well. We (women) are the greatest influencers in the lives of our husbands and our children, and everything we do will either communicate our obedience and submission to God, or our rebellion and disobedience to Him. So does God’s word explicitly tell us not o use a – in our names when married? No, but it does tell us to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. Have we taken on Christ’s name? Do we hyphenate it so that we can maintain our independence/identity with our old sinful nature and our new nature? Do we even think about these ‘minor’ issues in light of our marriage relationships mirroring our relationship with Christ? And if we still can’t come to an understanding, it’s always a great ides to ask our husbands how it would make them feel, really, and what it communicates about our hearts for them. Some women hold on to their last name because they have children prior to marriage or from a previous marriage and don’t want their kids to not have the shared identity of their last name…. I understand these cases as well, but we have to understand that the relationship between a man and his wife is the ONLY relationship on earth that is called to represent the relationship that Christ has with his bride…it is to supercede all others…
This is the post. What feedback do you have? Agree. Disagree. I would really like to know 😀 And what about men taking on the last name of their wives???? Have you even heard of that? I truly look forward to hearing from you!
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Practical ways to put Submission into practice from the Book of James 1-2
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes;fear the Lord and shun evil.” Proverbs 3:5-7
This, again, is a passage of scripture that we don’t typically hear used in the context of our marriages, but it is SUPER applicable. I see a lot of marriages where we appear to trust God with everything BUT our relationship with our husbands. We apply worldly thinking and secular methods of conflict resolution to what is a holy, sanctified (set apart exclusively for Gods use) union. I hear a lot of, “I trust the Lord, but……”. That little word, but, cancels out that huge word, trust. And it communicates more than we think it does, the absence of genuine faith in this area. I want to share with you several passages of scripture that I truly believe will enhance your marriage if applied… My wonderful husband always tells me, whenever I am discussing these issues of submission and there is tension in the conversation, that God’s Word can explain and hold our hearts accountable better than I can. “Just stick to Scripture, Sweetie”, he says. “If their hearts won’t submit to His Word or His command, they are probably not one of His daughters.” In my heart of hearts I pray that you are truly a daughter of the Most High God, and that as one of his girls, your heart is set on honoring and obeying Him by submitting to His Holy Word, and bringing your heart and life completely under His authority…especially in the are of submitting to, honoring, and demonstrating respect for your husband… These verses are in no way exhaustive, but they are a good start…and they are wonderful to have hidden in your arsenal so that when the enemy of flesh rises up, you can put him to death!
When facing financial struggles:
“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” James 1:2-4
When facing temptation:
“And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.” JAmes 1:13-15
When struggling to close our mouths and just listen to our husbands…especially when we are angry:
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” James 1:19-20
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“If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” James 1:26
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When struggling with obeying all of Gods Word and not just the parts that we like or agree with:
“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” James 1:22-25
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When we find ourselves esteeming other men as better than our own husband because they have a ‘better’ job, drive a ‘better’ car, their family lives in a ‘better’ neighborhood….:
“My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?” James 2:2-4
When we are dissatisfied with how the Lord has provided for our needs through our husbands and we just think we could live a better life if he made more money:
Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him?. James 2:5
When we say that we are believing God to rescue us from the consequences of our disrespectful attitude and dishonoring acts towards our husbands, but it just isn’t happening…he’s stil angry, and hurt and withdrawn, but we’ve apologized and he should be able to move past it…:
“What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God.Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless? Don’t you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God. So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone. Rahab the prostitute is another example. She was shown to be right with God by her actions when she hid those messengers and sent them safely away by a different road. Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” James 2:14-26
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I am going to refrain from expounding on these verses and just let them speak for themselves. I just want to say that if our hearts are truly set on submitting to God in ALL areas, there’s no better roadmap than His unfailing word! READ THE BIBLE LADIES!!!!! LOVE GOD AND HIS STATUTES!!!!! LIVE OUT/OBEY WHAT IT SAYS!!!! In all areas!!!! We can’t continue to sit in church on Sunday,saying ‘Amen’, but hating our husbands in our hearts and with our actions….We’ve got to choose. decide, RESOLVE to be better…to just submit!!! Just quit fighting! Trust God or we suffer and we cause the generational suffering of so many… I will leave you with this video from John Piper. Have a GREAT weekend, know that you are loved, now go and LOVE YOUR HUSBAND!!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd3AmKexugM
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The Name-Game:Is a woman who hyphenates her last name not submitting to her husband? A Husband’s Response
Below is a comment that was shared in response to the original post, The Name Game: Is a woman who hyphenates her last name not submitting to her husband? I appreciate Benjamins input GREATLY and wanted to share his words, which communicate very specifically from Gods Word, with all of you. If this is an area of ‘struggle’, please recognize that any time we struggle within ourselves when God’s word is shared, that struggle is a symptom of our rebellious hearts and minds. Read Benjamins comment. Meditate on Gods word. Let it change your heart and mind. Choose to submit.
Selena,
…. I am thrilled that you decided to start tackling this topic; it is something that has been on my own heart and mind. My thoughts led me to question this as well. I knew that in Spaniard cultures, the hyphenation of the wife’s name was normal (although I do not know the reasoning behind it), which is something that they have been doing for generations. But what does it mean in our own culture? I have pondered this myself, and I think that it goes beyond submission to the husband (as you have rightly pointed out). It goes to the point of not submitting to ANY authority. And why not? Although I love my country, let’s be honest, that is how our country was founded. We failed to submit to God’s authority, and I believe that we are paying for that sin by perpetuating it.
I love the way you worded this: “It doesn’t communicate unity or oneness or sacrifice, it communicates division, and a reluctance to really take on our husbands name and hang on to our own is communicating that Eve is still alive and well.” Now, when I look at the Bible, what I see is instructions and edification for CHRISTIAN COMMUNITIES. Having studied Ephesians recently, I started to notice some things that shed a TON of light for me on Ephesians 5 and 6. This epistle is about family. SPECIFICALLY, it is about how the family of God should look in comparison with those of the world. The language he uses is so blatantly family oriented, and so eternally rooted in Christ. For instance,
(1) We have the Father (1:2-3) and His mighty work in predestining us through the finished work of Christ.
(2) Paul makes it plain that this predestining salvation is by grace alone, while dead in our trespasses (2:1-10).
(3) Paul stresses our exclusion and then grafting into the family of God because while dead in our trespasses as Gentiles we were “alienated from the COMMONWEALTH of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise” (2:12), but now are brought near (2:13).
(4) and create in himself ONE NEW MAN IN PLACE OF TWO, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in ONE BODY (2:15)
(5) Now “we both [Jew and Gentile] have access in one Spirit to the Father…” and are “members of the HOUSEHOLD of God” (2:18-19).
(6)This inclusion of Gentiles was once a “mystery [whereby] the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body” (3:6).
(7) So in the Father “every FAMILY (or all fatherhood in the Greek) in heaven and on earth is named” (3:14-15).
(8) Chapters 4 and 5 seem to bridge much of this material together. WE DO NOT WALK AS THE GENTILES (non-believers) do any longer (4:17) and put off the old self (4:22), but instead we walk wisely (5:15) and put on the new self (4:24).
(9) We are to be imitators of Christ “as BELOVED CHILDREN” (5:1)
So what I see at the end is this: But we are filled with the Spirit (5:18b). We look to Christ as our example (5:1-2), we now walk at children of light (5:8b-21). We live ordered and non-chaotic relationships (5:22-6:9) that are submissive, and how do we now protect that orderly life from the attacks that come from the Enemy (spiritual armor of God; see 6:10-20).
Truly, what women (and men) have been sold is a beautifully packaged bundle of C4 explosive lies. This is what happens to marriages when the armor of God is not put on. Can you imagine hyphenating your last name with Christ? Benjamin Wordly-Christian. Or Benjamin Satanic-Christian. You are so right, Selena, in pointing out that women that take this approach start the marriage in division, much like a marriage with a pre-nup. And men taking women’s last names? That is an issue of a man with a deeply wounded heart; a man living in the passive nature of Adam.
I do not want to say that all live this rebelliously that hyphenate. Sometimes it is not so much a heart problem as an ignorance problem. But what does that say about the leaders of the Church. If the Bible is written for Kingdom Communities, then it is time that we focus on the Church’s understanding of submitting to Christ and let the world see that we live differently, exactly what Ephesians is telling us to do! Let the world be independent, arrogant and full of vain self-worship, and let US stop following their lead.
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After reading the comment above, what are your thoughts? What is God saying to your heart? What struggle are you identifying? Have you realized that you “have been sold is a beautifully packaged bundle of C4 explosive lies”? Wherever you find yourself, I would love to hear from you 😀
Joyfully Submitted 
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