marriage

I was a terrible wife! Really, I was…

Posted on Updated on

It breaks my heart to think that during the earlier years of my marriage my husband may have felt like this at times.  While I don’t like to look back and think of myself as particularly ‘quarrelsome’, I was definitely a handful…and a mouthful…a ‘pistol’ if you will…at times.   While I have a great memory for details, I don’t always want to remember the details of things I’ve done or said that were not pleasant, or that did not paint me in a good light.  And my demeanor or attitude during those early years are definitely best forgotten if I want to view myself as the perpetual good, husband respecting and God honoring wife.  But my memory works well in all areas! And that means that I remember myself in the light of truth.  While my husband is not perfect, he has been consistent in his display of patience and kindness towards me, at times doing so in the face of my anger and rage.  I was young…and headstrong…and feminist…and foolish…and today and everyday I thank God that I am forgiven.  While I was not an absolutely horrid wife, meaning I did laundry and cleaned and cooked and made the beds and …etc, I was not forgiving, or patient, or gentle, or kind if things did not go my way! I was a brat!!!! And he loved me….and he waited for me to grow up…and he grew up with me! 😀 And he understood, as I came to understand, that my heart had not truly submitted to God and His will for my life, and that I was taking that out on him.  My desire, since I committed my life to Christ at the age of 16, has always been to live a life that was pleasing to the Lord.  My fear since that time, has always been that I will fail.  I have struggled for 23 years to become the woman He created me to be, even if I did not agree with Him.  That’s why it was a struggle. Because I did not agree! And while I loved my husband from the beginning, at least based on the way that my 21-year-old mind perceived love, I had other plans for my life…and they were interrupted…and I was angry… But I didn’t really notice for a long time that I was taking it out on him. Now, I know the title of this post is “I was a Terrible wife”, and I was quite often, but my heart was to be a godly one….and it still is.  But this was not natural for me. Again, I had the physical skills, but I’ve had to learn to develop the heart…and before I could develop a true heart for my husband, I had to develop a true heart for God, and a willingness to accept His will for my life.

I was a closet, unconfessed, unacknowledged feminist, and my feminist heart was at war with a desire to serve God within those standards.  I wanted to love, honor, and respect  my husband, but had unknowingly embraced the culture that taught that men were weak and not worthy of respect. I wanted to genuinely appreciate him and his endeavors to provide for our growing family, but I had subconsciously bought into the false teaching that, as a woman, I was complete all by myself, and did not need a man to do anything for me.  I said I loved him, but I treated him with disdain at times, and my far-reaching vocabulary was used to do what my hands could not. I looked good on the outside, but inside was the heart of a woman who had no idea how to become anything other than what I was.  While my wonderful husband insists that I was not that bad, I can’t give myself a break on this.  I do not want to paint a picture of myself with an ethereal glow around the fringes and a halo above my head, and I don’t want you to do that either.  Self-evaluation is a wonderful thing. And if we are believers, it is a necessary thing:

Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves.

Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you ; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.

2 Corinthians 13:5

Knowing that our marital relationships are to mirror the relationship Christ has with his church, how much more does this apply to our marriages than just to our Christian conduct in our church circles?  The result of an ultimate decision to truly cultivate the heart of a godly wife, I am no longer a feminist who wears the mask of a Christian wife and mother. I genuinely love, honor and respect my husband, and I do it joyfully.  When talking to young wives caught in a similar struggle to the one I’ve described, I tell them that in this case, the grass really is greener on this side!!! I would not go back to the me I was before I truly submitted to Christ for ‘all the tea in China!” 😀 There is more than freedom, there is abundant life found in loving and being loved the way God designed…and there is genuine joy.  The things I viewed as drudgery before are now looked at with an appreciation.  While this post may not hit the bullseye for everyone, I have full confidence that there are some who will read this today or somewhere down the road, and it will meet you where you are.  I have been blessed with an amazing man to spend the rest of my life with.  He has worked hard for the past 18 years to provide for us, and to make it possible for me to be at home training and educating our children.  When he comes home from work, I take joy (even when I’m tired) in serving him.  I take joy in making sure he has clean underwear and socks …and it breaks my heart when I am behind on any laundry but especially his laundry.  I love cooking for our family and preparing his plate for dinner (we actually compete on this one :D), and bringing it to him as he sits and unwinds while talking to the kids.  But guess what? He looks for ways to serve me as well…and we do it joyfully!!!!!  We didn’t start out this way.  We were two selfish kids having kids when we got married (I truly believe I was far worse).  But God is faithful, and He met our desire to have a marriage that honored Him by empowering us to deny ourselves and pursue righteousness.  The Lord also knew that I was desperate not to pass these perspectives to my daughters.  The end result, is that we love God more than we do each other. Our primary goal is to please the Lord in everything we do and say, and that begins with how we love and treat each other.  Do we have bad days? Yes! Are there times we just want to scream?? Absolutely! But we’ve learned to be gracious, and compassionate and kind……and very, very, VERY forgiving!

Were you born in the wake of the feminist movement AND post Roe v. Wade like I am?  Did you find it difficult to get rid of the ideologies and mindsets once you came to Christ or were married? Have you struggled in some of the same areas I described here?  Well, of course, by now you know you’re not alone.  Feel free to leave a comment and let me know some parts of your personal journey. The Conversation of the Month is SUBMISSION and we’ll be here everyday 😀 Let’s continue to encourage one another! 😀

Advertisements

“We all know who wears the pants in this family!”

Posted on Updated on

photo available for purchase @ http://www.condenaststore.com

Early in our marriage I had an eye-opening, heart changing experience that I want to share with you. We had guests over for dinner, and although I can’t remember the details of our conversation, there is one part of it that I will never forget.  That would be when the young man in response to something said, replied, “That’s OK, because we all know who wears the pants in this family.”  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  And my heart dropped, because I knew immediately that he was not talking about my husband! I desperately searched to discover what had I done…what was I doing… that would cause other men to look at my husband as less than a man of honor? Now, I understand that we live in a day and time where to hear that said is a compliment to some women… but I wasn’t one of them.  Those words sliced right through me!!!! They cut through my strong personality, quick-witted, take charge exterior…and they broke my heart! What was so bad about those words?  Why would they cause me so much distress? Very simply, I was devastated to hear those words, not just because of wat they said about me, but because of what they depicted about him…my love…my sweetie…

As terrible as it was to hear that, it was one of the best things that could have happened (Isn’t God amazing?!?!?! He knows EVERYTHING!)  Those words, spoken very casually as if that was normal and acceptable, were the beginning of an end for me.  Let me explain…

While most women don’t view being perceived as a non-submissive wife to be a bad ting, I believe that would change drastically if we looked at the word very intently…which I did…and I DID NOT like what I saw at all. Let’s take a journey through a brief word study, shall we? The words below are all words that can be accurately used to describe a wife or a woman who submits to Gods authority (for the single woman), and the authority of her husband.

 The  definition of Submission;

to submit –  the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person

• archaic humility;

meekness:

Synonyms

submission to authority

yielding (relinquish, bequeath, give up te struggle)

Bequeath (pass down or on to, entrust to)

capitulation

acceptance

consent

compliance

surrender

resignation

docility (Latin dociles, from docere meaning to ‘teach’, apt or willing to learn)

deference

subservience

servility

give in/way

back down

abide by

conform to

ANTONYMS

defiance.

resistance.

Now, these are not words that we are particularly fond of.  Their imagery is one of weakness, and who wants to be viewed as weak? But as much as we may not like these words, I have a feeling we will be dismayed at the next list.  While the words above are all used to define or explain submission,  the next group of words is used to define a lack of submission. We will focus on just a couple of words from above (the ones in bold) looking at antonyms 😀

to submit; yielding (relinquish, bequeath, give up te struggle), Bequeath (pass down or on to, entrust to), 

docility (Latin dociles, from docere meaning to ‘teach’, apt or willing to learn)

 The following words can accurately be used to describe a woman/a wife who refuses/resists submitting to God and her husband;

recalcitrant

uncooperative

intractactable

obstreperous

truculent

insubordinate

defiant

rebellious

willful

wayward

headstrong

self-willed

contrary

perverse

difficult

unruly

unmanageable

disorderly

undisciplined

uncontrollable

rowdy

disruptive

mutinous

riotous

out of control

turbulent

Whoa!!! That’s a lot of strong, descriptive words!!! Now lets pick a couple from both lists and compare.

A woman who submits to her husband’s authority as instructed to by God’s Word (1 Peter 3:1-2) is viewed as meek (quiet and gentle), compliant, docile (apt or willing to learn), and subservient. On the contrary, a woman who refuses to, or is resistant to the very idea of submitting, she is unfavorably viewed as recalcitrant, uncooperative, intractable, obstreperous, truculent, insubordinate, defiant, rebellious, willful, wayward, headstrong, self-willed, contrary, perverse, difficult. Now, you tell me what Christ loving woman wants to be seen as any of the above words?

So, when my heart should have been set on honoring God, and my husband and demonstrating a willingness to submit to both, my heart had actually been trained to pose as a good wife but silently resist and defy authority.  While my husband thought he was marrying a gentle, quiet young woman, and a wife who was willing to learn, he had actually married a woman who was unruly, unmanageable, disorderly, undisciplined, uncontrollable, rowdy, disruptive, mutinous, riotous, out of control, turbulent….and she didn’t even know it! But other people could see it, which was why that heart slicing observational comment was made about me wearing the pants in the family…

Praise god my story doesn’t end there!!!! And neither does yours!!! While there is no honor for an unruly woman, God’s word says there is praise and honor for the virtuous one!  Do not fear…The God we serve is faithful!

“And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them.I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart so they will obey my decrees and regulations. Then they will truly be my people, and I will be their God.” Ezekiel 11:18-20 

Did you get that? When we choose to truly turn our hearts back to God He will;

1. give us singleness of heart

2. put a new spirit within us

3. take away our stony, stubborn heart

4. give us a tender, responsive heart

Why will He do this!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

SO THAT WE CAN SUBMIT TO (OBEY) HIS DECREES AND REGULATIONS

Ladies, I have seen God first hand do exactly what he said he would do in me…and if you are feeling trapped in this horrible cycle than I want to encourage you that he can do the same thing for you.  Don’t forget, I am sharing my story this week, but your turn is coming.  I want to hear from you.  Has your heart been changed? Let us know and take advantage of an opportunity to encourage others with your story!  Join us tomorrow for the next video blog! Have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow

The Name-Game:Is a woman who hyphenates her last name not submitting to her husband?

Posted on Updated on

THE QUESTION:

Is a woman who hyphenates her last name (keeping both her maiden and married name) not submitting fully to her husband? 

This is a question I saw recently on Facebook, as well as the comment I posted in response.  I wanted to share this with all of you in hopes of getting your feedback.The question itself was genuine, and not meant in a negative way.  A new bride was sincerely asking for the opinions of those she knows.  The slew of comments that followed were, in some cases, heartbreaking.  They lead me to do a little research into the ‘new’ movement where husbands are taking on the last names of their wives as opposed to the wives taking on the last name of her husband. Read both the question and the comment I posted in response… Out of the 26 responses to this question, mine was completely ignored by all except the writer of the original question… So, what are your thoughts, and what Bible verses/principles/cultural depictions of the people of God do you use to support your view?

“I have not read the other comments…so no offense intended if there is any…when we choose to BECOME ONE with a man, we are doing just that…becoming ONE…in order for that to work we both    must die to our own selfish ambition and become a different person…a blending of the two…part of that for Eve is the taking on of her husband’s name and what that represents (wo+man=woman)… what it communicates to the world around us. It communicates that we are women who are under authority and consider it a blessing to be covered in life by first, the Lord, then by our earthly fathers whose name we bear until our marriage, and again that covering and protection and provision is passed to our husbands, and is signified by the taking of their name. (1Peter 3, Ephesians 5) It is a sign of honor and respect as well as encouragement and edification to our husbands. It demonstrates love and trust. That said, it is anti-feminist and is another aspect of marriage where we (Christian women) tend to take on the mindset of the world and follow their cultural trends rather than the culture designed by the Word. But it’s minor..no big deal…just a hyphen…but the communicates the opposite of what our marriages as believers are supposed to communicate to the world we live in. It doesn’t communicate unity or oneness or sacrifice, it communicates division, and a reluctance to really take on our husbands name and hang on to our own is communicating that Eve is still alive and well. We (women) are the greatest influencers in the lives of our husbands and our children, and everything we do will either communicate our obedience and submission to God, or our rebellion and disobedience to Him.  So does God’s word explicitly tell us not o use a in our names when married? No, but it does tell us to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. Have we taken on Christ’s name? Do we hyphenate it so that we can maintain our independence/identity with our old sinful nature and our new nature? Do we even think about these ‘minor’ issues in light of our marriage relationships mirroring our relationship with Christ? And if we still can’t come to an understanding, it’s always a great ides to ask our husbands how it would make them feel, really, and what it communicates about our hearts for them.  Some women hold on to their last name because they have children prior to marriage or from a previous marriage and don’t want their kids to not have the shared identity of their last name…. I understand these cases as well, but we have to understand that the relationship between a man and his wife is the ONLY relationship on earth that is called to represent the relationship that Christ has with his bride…it is to supercede all others…

This is the post. What feedback do you have? Agree. Disagree. I would really like to know 😀 And what about men taking on the last name of their wives???? Have you even heard of that? I truly look forward to hearing from you!

Submission! I Do….but I Don’t!!!

Posted on Updated on

I was extremely blessed to have spent Friday afternoon with two beautiful young wives.  Their love for God and desire to live lives that are pleasing to Him were apparent in the sheer amount of energy it took to focus while nursing babies and changing diapers and quieting little ones.  I smiled to myself as I remembered the early years of my marriage when my children were babies…and small…and loud…and unconcerned with the needs of anyone else on the planet…and my husband was working…and I was fighting valiantly to love God and obey His Word…and I was earnestly trying to learn how and what it meant to love my husband and my children.  During those years I really could have used an older woman or two whose joy it was to walk alongside younger women after the model given to us in Titus 2.

I have been searching my heart in an effort to find my voice on this blog, and I have written about various things.  But the thing that causes my heart to ache is the same thing that caused me to begin this blogging journey, and it’s the same thing that compels me to write today; My heart aches for the women today who are like I was when I got married. I truly desired to honor God and my husband, but I HAD NO IDEA how to do that.  I remember when Ukali and I went to a relative, who is a pastor at a local church, for some premarital advice before the actual ‘I Do’s’, and the relative made the comment that he felt we were very compatible and only foresaw on potential issue.  I braced myself and was prepared for him to say anything other than what he said.  His observed potential issue was…Yep! You guessed it…ME!!!!!…. and the likelihood of me experiencing difficulty and resistance to submitting to my husband’s God-given authority.  Well, needless to say, I was a little more than moderately offended…and afraid that he was right! And guess what? He was!!!!

But guess what else? My story doesn’t end there, and hopefully, neither does yours.  Let’s tell our stories together. During the month of October we will be looking closely at the word SUBMISSION. I will be speaking directly to questions/concerns you have in regards to the Biblical model of submission in marriage.  Take a few minutes and message me your questions, concerns, struggles and victories in this area.  We would love to hear from you.  Submission of questions/comments can begin immediately!! JOIN THE CONVERSATION 😀

Practical ways to put Submission into practice from the Book of James 1-2

Posted on Updated on

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes;fear the Lord and shun evil.” Proverbs 3:5-7

This, again, is a passage of scripture that we don’t typically hear used in the context of our marriages, but it is SUPER applicable.  I see a lot of marriages where we appear to trust God with everything BUT our relationship with our husbands.  We apply worldly thinking and secular methods of conflict resolution to what is a holy, sanctified (set apart exclusively for Gods use) union.  I hear a lot of, “I trust the Lord, but……”. That little word, but, cancels out that huge word, trust. And it communicates more than we think it does, the absence of genuine faith in this area. I want to share with you several passages of scripture that I truly believe will enhance your marriage if applied… My wonderful husband always tells me, whenever I am discussing these issues of submission and there is tension in the conversation, that God’s Word can explain and hold our hearts accountable better than I can.  “Just stick to Scripture, Sweetie”, he says. “If their hearts won’t submit to His Word or His command, they are probably not one of His daughters.”  In my heart of hearts I pray that you are truly a daughter of the Most High God, and that as one of his girls, your heart is set on honoring and obeying Him by submitting to His Holy Word, and bringing your heart and life completely under His authority…especially in the are of submitting to, honoring, and demonstrating respect for your husband… These verses are in no way exhaustive, but they are a good start…and they are wonderful to have hidden in your arsenal so that when the enemy of flesh rises up, you can put him to death!

When facing financial struggles:

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” James 1:2-4

When facing temptation:

“And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.” JAmes 1:13-15

When struggling to close our mouths and just listen to our husbands…especially when we are angry:

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” James 1:19-20

~

“If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” James 1:26

~

When struggling with obeying all of Gods Word and not just the parts that we like or agree with:

“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” James 1:22-25

~

When we find ourselves esteeming other men as better than our own husband because they have a ‘better’ job, drive a ‘better’ car, their family lives in a ‘better’ neighborhood….:

“My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?” James 2:2-4

When we are dissatisfied with how the Lord has provided for our needs through our husbands and we just think we could live a better life if he made more money:

Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him?. James 2:5

When we say that we are believing God to rescue us from the consequences of our disrespectful attitude and dishonoring acts towards our husbands, but it just isn’t happening…he’s stil angry, and hurt and withdrawn, but we’ve apologized and he should be able to move past it…:

What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God.Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless? Don’t you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God. So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone. Rahab the prostitute is another example. She was shown to be right with God by her actions when she hid those messengers and sent them safely away by a different road. Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” James 2:14-26

~~~

I am going to refrain from expounding on these verses and just let them speak for themselves.  I just want to say that if our hearts are truly set on submitting to God in ALL areas, there’s no better roadmap than His unfailing word! READ THE BIBLE LADIES!!!!! LOVE GOD AND HIS STATUTES!!!!! LIVE OUT/OBEY WHAT IT SAYS!!!! In all areas!!!! We can’t continue to sit in church on Sunday,saying ‘Amen’, but hating our husbands in our hearts and with our actions….We’ve got to choose. decide, RESOLVE to be better…to just submit!!! Just quit fighting! Trust God or we suffer and we cause the generational suffering of so many… I will leave you with this video from John Piper.  Have a GREAT weekend, know that you are loved, now go and LOVE YOUR HUSBAND!!

~~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd3AmKexugM

The Name-Game:Is a woman who hyphenates her last name not submitting to her husband? A Husband’s Response

Posted on Updated on

Below is a comment that was shared in response to the original post, The Name Game: Is a woman who hyphenates her last name not submitting to her husband? I appreciate Benjamins input GREATLY and wanted to share his words, which communicate very specifically from Gods Word, with all of you.  If this is an area of ‘struggle’, please recognize that any time we struggle within ourselves when God’s word is shared, that struggle is a symptom of our rebellious hearts and minds.  Read Benjamins comment. Meditate on Gods word. Let it change your heart and mind. Choose to submit.

Selena,

…. I am thrilled that you decided to start tackling this topic; it is something that has been on my own heart and mind. My thoughts led me to question this as well. I knew that in Spaniard cultures, the hyphenation of the wife’s name was normal (although I do not know the reasoning behind it), which is something that they have been doing for generations. But what does it mean in our own culture? I have pondered this myself, and I think that it goes beyond submission to the husband (as you have rightly pointed out). It goes to the point of not submitting to ANY authority. And why not? Although I love my country, let’s be honest, that is how our country was founded. We failed to submit to God’s authority, and I believe that we are paying for that sin by perpetuating it.

I love the way you worded this: “It doesn’t communicate unity or oneness or sacrifice, it communicates division, and a reluctance to really take on our husbands name and hang on to our own is communicating that Eve is still alive and well.” Now, when I look at the Bible, what I see is instructions and edification for CHRISTIAN COMMUNITIES. Having studied Ephesians recently, I started to notice some things that shed a TON of light for me on Ephesians 5 and 6. This epistle is about family. SPECIFICALLY, it is about how the family of God should look in comparison with those of the world. The language he uses is so blatantly family oriented, and so eternally rooted in Christ. For instance,

(1) We have the Father (1:2-3) and His mighty work in predestining us through the finished work of Christ.
(2) Paul makes it plain that this predestining salvation is by grace alone, while dead in our trespasses (2:1-10).
(3) Paul stresses our exclusion and then grafting into the family of God because while dead in our trespasses as Gentiles we were “alienated from the COMMONWEALTH of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise” (2:12), but now are brought near (2:13).
(4) and create in himself ONE NEW MAN IN PLACE OF TWO, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in ONE BODY (2:15)

(5) Now “we both [Jew and Gentile] have access in one Spirit to the Father…” and are “members of the HOUSEHOLD of God” (2:18-19).
(6)This inclusion of Gentiles was once a “mystery [whereby] the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body” (3:6).
(7) So in the Father “every FAMILY (or all fatherhood in the Greek) in heaven and on earth is named” (3:14-15).
(8) Chapters 4 and 5 seem to bridge much of this material together. WE DO NOT WALK AS THE GENTILES (non-believers) do any longer (4:17) and put off the old self (4:22), but instead we walk wisely (5:15) and put on the new self (4:24).
(9) We are to be imitators of Christ “as BELOVED CHILDREN” (5:1)

So what I see at the end is this: But we are filled with the Spirit (5:18b). We look to Christ as our example (5:1-2), we now walk at children of light (5:8b-21). We live ordered and non-chaotic relationships (5:22-6:9) that are submissive, and how do we now protect that orderly life from the attacks that come from the Enemy (spiritual armor of God; see 6:10-20).

Truly, what women (and men) have been sold is a beautifully packaged bundle of C4 explosive lies. This is what happens to marriages when the armor of God is not put on. Can you imagine hyphenating your last name with Christ? Benjamin Wordly-Christian. Or Benjamin Satanic-Christian. You are so right, Selena, in pointing out that women that take this approach start the marriage in division, much like a marriage with a pre-nup. And men taking women’s last names? That is an issue of a man with a deeply wounded heart; a man living in the passive nature of Adam.

I do not want to say that all live this rebelliously that hyphenate. Sometimes it is not so much a heart problem as an ignorance problem. But what does that say about the leaders of the Church. If the Bible is written for Kingdom Communities, then it is time that we focus on the Church’s understanding of submitting to Christ and let the world see that we live differently, exactly what Ephesians is telling us to do! Let the world be independent, arrogant and full of vain self-worship, and let US stop following their lead.

~~~~~

After reading the comment above, what are your thoughts? What is God saying to your heart? What struggle are you identifying? Have you realized that you “have been sold is a beautifully packaged bundle of C4 explosive lies”? Wherever you find yourself, I would love to hear from you 😀